I make a dodgy and threadbare living as an attorney, and when not engaged in my questionable legal practice, I tend the family vineyards in the hills east of Strelsau. The barren fields and scraggly vines of the Slocum family estates yield a somewhat bitter variety of plonk popular among the more poorly paid members of the legal profession.

I live the family motto, "Volo pecuniam pre."

I worked as an editor for about ten years in a previous lifetime, which means I usually know where the commas go, and though I've never thought of myself as a writer, I've held numerous jobs in which that was my major responsibility.

There are few things better than a good story well told.

You should read my writing. It's good. (No, really.)

But you might consider other legal counsel.